Warning Signs of Abuse

The Abuse Expose' with Secret Angel

With so many becoming victims of the various abuses, sometimes we just need to post reminders of the warning signs to help people identify the signs and  avoid these abusive relationships. Remember that many abusers can be very deceitful with their words, but their actions will speak louder than their words. Watch how they act. Do not be deceived.

Warning Signs of Abuse

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‘The Shield’ Actor Charged With Killing His Wife

There is a huge pathology that is emerging amongst our men and women in the public eye which is only being highlights a major issue that the mainstream media (including radio, TV and some popular online blogs) is NOT really tackling. May is Mental Health Awareness Month and I find it ironic how I don’t hear ANY mention of it except on the advocate organizations like NAMI and Mental Health America. There IS a connection but are WE connecting those dots? #TolerantTuesday


LOS ANGELES (WNEW/AP) — Authorities say actor Michael Jace is charged with homicide after his wife was found shot to death in their home.

Police arrived at the couple’s home in the Hyde Park neighborhood around 8:30 p.m. Monday and that 40-year-old April Jace was found dead inside.

CBS Los Angeles reports the woman had just returned home when the shooting occurred.

Authorities say Jace was taken into custody Monday night and arrested on a homicide charge later. Jace was in custody and unavailable for comment.

The 50-year-old Jace played a police officer in the TV series “The Shield” and had roles in “Forrest Gump” and “Planet of the Apes.” Additionally, he played opposite Russell Crowe and Ben Affleck in the Washington, D.C. based thriller “State of Play.”

The couple were married nine years and have children.

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(TM and Copyright 2014 CBS Radio Inc. and its relevant…

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Battered Girlfriend Continues To Avoid Police Over Miami Cop’s Death

This case has so many layers to it that I don’t think the mainstream media (and local radio personalities) is really addressing. After talking to a colleague who is a mother of a cop, we both discussed how domestic violence and mental illness may be factors in the suicide and injuries. Why aren’t we talking about that during MENTAL HEALTH MONTH?!?

CBS Miami

MIAMI (CBSMiami) – The girlfriend of a Miami police officer who was found dead in his Pembroke Pines continues to avoid the police.

Thursday morning Tiniko Thompson lay down in the back of a relative’s SUV as she left her mother’s home in Opa-locka,so she would not have to answer any questions from the waiting media about the day her boyfriend, Officer Carl Patrick, was shot to death as he got ready to go to work.

“This was a man that she loved and this is a very unfortunate situation for all sides. It’s a sad and tragic story,” said Thompson’s attorney Roderick Vereen.

Vereen said Thompson was distraught and upset over the death which he said was an act of self-defense.

When asked why she was not cooperating with the police investigation, Vereen said she was keeping quiet for a reason.

“I’m sure when you speak with an attorney…

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#TolerantTuesday – #WomenMentalHealthWeek with Ntozake Shange’s “For Colored Girls”

So I’m starting a new segment this month called #TolerantTuesday to address May being Mental Health Month. It’s a delicate dance of being an advocate without sounding too preachy and I have thought a great deal about how I could deliver my awareness message.

As a news blogger, I’m usually re-posting timely news in the various realms of intelligent consumption at a moment’s notice – current events, politics, local/state/national government, cultural issues, education, “water cooler” topics, etc. But I’m also mindful for the KIND of information I want to put out there because it reflects the kind of writer, editor, feminist and ultimately, educator I am. I take that responsibility very seriously because I’m representing the best of American culture not just for my “country people” but internationally, with readers coming from Europe, Middle East, Australia, countries in Africa and more. Thank you, by the way, for your continued readership! XO

So yesterday, I was bombarded (I’m sure you were too) with the leaked elevator video of Solange Knowles allegedly attacking her brother-in-law Shawn “Jay Z” Carter as her sister, Beyoncé, appears to do nothing during the argument while in elevator. I am intentionally NOT posting the video for a reason.

I was a little horrified by the video, to be honest. There was a lot of rage in that attack. As the week goes on, I’m sure there will be many journalists studying the players’ social media accounts, painstakingly piecing together the timeline and tweets/status updates that may offer some explanation for the behavior. The only “positive” piece of the incident was that Jay Z never retaliated. It was the bodyguard who pulled her back. That takes some serious restraint as a man.

Unfortunately, as the day went on, my horror expanded with my firsthand viewing of the bevy of tasteless and disgusting memes created on Twitter, Facebook, Tumblr and Instagram that parodied/ridiculed/made light of the incident. I also REFUSE to post any of them here to give those users any added notoriety.

So instead of joining the Peanut Gallery, I looked at the incident in an alternative perspective – a mental health counselor and holistic life coach a-la Iyanla Vanzant.


Now again, I am not a licensed counselor or life coach but I do have a heightened awareness and empathy that comes from my own experiences.

We as women can harbor a lot of bitterness of past hurts and disappointments. They hide behind our fake smiles, flawless makeup, expensive hairstyles and “I’m fine” responses. I know that because that’s what I have done. What’s worse is that the hurt manifests itself in places we aren’t even aware of only to explode into wrath. I know that because it happened to me.

Oprah's MasterClass

I didn’t hurt anyone or myself but I remember feeling such a wave of anger, frustration, pain, sadness that it couldn’t go anywhere but out of me in rage. I was angry that I couldn’t be understood by family. I was frustrated that I couldn’t effectively articulate the root of the hurt initially. I hurt because I reflected on my past toxic relationships and hated how I allowed myself to shrink inside my ex’s expectations for me. I was sad because I feared that no man would ever love me the way I desperately wanted to be loved.

Love In The City on OWN

So last night, I watched Tyler Perry’s film, For Colored Girls (2010) just to get some perspective about my own feelings and provide some insight into how to process the news I was reporting.


for colored girlsNtozake-Shange-1977-antozake with janet

Ntozake Shange, the original playwright of the Broadway show For Colored Girls Who Have Considered Suicide When the Rainbow Is Enuf, sprinkled such lush and lyrical monologues that made the women’s narratives come to life in front of your eyes. Even if you’re not a poetry fan, the honest and vivid storytelling cannot be ignored or denied. I heard my story in the “Abortion Cycle #1” and in countless others. I heard my college roommate’s story in “Latent Rapists”.

As the credits rolled, I realized how much of pain we carry around with us that no one ever knows. No one KNOWS to ask about the painful experience of your life. We just endure, push forward, get a career, get married, have kids, buy a house, save for those kids’ college and retirement. But what if we could tap into the hurt in a sisterhood circle, not to belabor the issues but to heal ourselves from them?

OWN Network is a cable TV channel that is trying to do that, if we REALLY try to let it. What shows could help us ALL (women AND men) heal from our hurts?